Alternate Escape
by queenofallthingsrandom
Summary: Naruto attempts suicide. This is basically a take on another one of my own stories(talk about a narcissist)Yaoi, suicide attempt, angst, and all of that goodness. "It doesn't matter now. As long as I know that, for once, I didn't fail. I've achieved my dream." I'll have to fix this summary later… until then, give it a chance!
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Ok, I originally wrote a weird Naruto suicide fic, but I wasn't really happy with the way it turned out, so here I am, writing another one with practically the same beginning. Some things you should know before you continue: I might make some characters way OOC, I'm a fan of yaoi, this story will probably be SasuNaru, and you shouldn't be reading it if you're under 15.

Moving on, warnings, even though I basically already did this: There will be yaoi, sadly not graphic, suicide and mentions of it, all around angst, mentions of abuse, and possibly a small tiny bit of super depressing viewpoints.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters in it. I do, however, own Ciel Phantomhives soul. Hannah gave it to me.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

 _To Whoever Finds This,_

 _It's too late. If you're reading this, I'm already gone, and I'm sorry. I know it's probably the most selfish decision someone can make: to be given an opportunity to life and just give it up. I just don't see any point in living anymore. If you even bothered to read this far, thank you. I know that I can't justify my decision, but... here's my attempt at it._

 _It started about twelve years ago, when I was born. My parents… well, I never knew them. Apparently, they died. I don't think I want to know who they were. I'd just be bitter. They died on the night that the Kyuubi, usually only named as the nine tailed demon fox, attacked our village on the day I was born. I guess I should've thought there was something wrong with that, but I was a little distracted by the people in my village._

 _There were some horrible, terrible experiences that I won't relay to you; all I'm going to say is, I barely survived all of the abuse, mental and physical. By the end of it, I almost wanted to do what I've gone and done to myself now. The hokage was there for me, though, and he was kind to me even though everyone else seemed to think I was a monster. After seeing someone so patient and kind, I couldn't help but want to grow up and be like him. I made it my dream to be hokage, so that one day I could be like the man who saved me._

 _When I entered the Ninja Academy, I expected all of the ridicule I got. I wasn't ever taught correctly, and the teachers tried there hardest to make me fail in some twisted attempt to prevent me from getting stronger. Somehow, I was made a genin after a… rather unfortunate event. One of the teachers got me to steal an important scroll. He was planning on taking it from me and killing me. Iruka, another one of my teachers, was there to help me. Fortunately, couldn't spare me from the truth. I found out that the demon who killed Iruka's parents and attacked Konoha was sealed in me. The hokage knew about it and kept it a secret from me. I trusted him. That managed to taint my veiw of him, but I kept my goal of becoming hokage and moved on._

 _I passed and was put on the worst team I could possibly imagaine. There was me, the kid who literally doesn't even know who he is or why his life was so ridiculous, a boy who considered his revenge to be more important than anything and anyone else, a little girl who was too obsessed with someone who could never love her back to make herself stronger, and a sensei who was too detached from us to be called a part of the pathetic team. I know it may seem ungrateful of me to think this way about my teammates, but I'm just so tired of all of this. I've been very, very tired for way too long. I didn't have the energy to try and help these people, no matter how desperately they needed it._

 _After our first_ actual _mission, I was dead inside. I'd finally found someone who was like me, and he was dead. He_ wanted _to die because he felt that he had no purpose left, if he couldn't be of use of Zabuza. I think that seeing him die is what finally did it._

 _My entire life has been full of nothing good, and I don't want to keep going. I've been through 12 years of hell, and I can't stand it any more._

 _Iruka, this wasn't your fault, and I'm sorry for what happened to your parents, but I don't want you to use me to get over it. As much as I shouldn't be writing this... you didn't actually know me._

 _Jiji… Thank you, and I'm sorry. I found a new goal._

 _Konohamaru, I pray to god you won't take this too hard. I'm sorry. Keep working towards your dream. You can get there one day._

 _Everyone else, I didn't know you, and you didn't know me. We might've known each other's names, but you didn't know anything about me, and you somehow still found a reason to hate me. I don't know why some of you did, whether it was because of your parents or you were just following the crowd, but it wasn't right._

 _Now, it's too late, and I'm sorry._

 _-Naruto Uzumaki_

I read over the note again, still not beleiving that this was real. I should've run out and looked for him as soon as I read the first sentebce, but I couldn't move.

"Sasuke?" Sakura called from behind me. I turned towards her and Kakashi, holding up the note and remaining silent.

"What is it?" I handed it to Sakura rather than telling her, praying that she would find some explanation for it. I watched anxiously as she started shaking and Kakashi paled, reading it over her shoulders.

He didn't skip a beat.

"Sakura, take this to the hokage. Sasuke, help search for him." Kakashi ordered. Sakura and Kakashi both darted away, but I still couldn't move.

He left me alone again…

* * *

(Naruto POV)

Somehow, even dying has been a letdown.

I thought that it would be some liberating thing; like, some sort of freedom that you only get to feel at the end of it all. I don't even anything. When I first dug the razor blade in, it stung, but when it got deep enough to be fatal, everything went numb. There's so much blood it's disgusting. Ok, something went wrong here. Death is supposed to be tragic, heartbreaking, _beautiful,_ even, and instead it's just… lonely. There's no one here to desperately try to save my life, or to hear my final words. There's no one to be upset by my death, no one to miss me, not even anyone to pity me. Though, I guess it was my choice; I chose to just give up instead of finding anyone to care about me.

Oh, well. Let it be said that my last thoughts were depressing and self-pitying, at least. I wonder what could've happened in my life… I could've become hokage, for all I know. I could have married Sakura! That actually doesn't sound too appealing… She's become more like my sister since we were put on the same team. And Sasuke… I think I can honestly say that he was one of the only people who put up with me. I'm gonna miss being on that team, even if I did hold them back.

I suppose it doesn't matter now, though, so long as I know that, for once in my life, I didn't fail. I achieved my dream.

* * *

Author's note:…

I know, the ending sucked. I just couldn't decide on how I wanted to make his character there! The story is not over though! Naruto lives! I will try to make my writing a heck of a lot better in the future, and I will make the chapters longer, in the hopes that I can earn attention from my readers. Until then… Here's the thing that I do at the end of my chapters.

Song of the day: "Jesus of Suburbia" by Green Day

Quote of the day: "Major General Sir! Is it true that when the Pillsbury dough boy bends over, you see doughnuts?"That was from James Roday, an amazing actor, on the set of "Psych." I've used it before, but I just love it too much to only quote it once.

Show of the day: "Psycho Pass" It's an amazing anime, and I love follow, favorite, and review! I want you to know that I'm only still writing because I want this to be longer. So, this thing isn't actually 1,500 words long, I just write way too much in my author's notes.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: I'm sorry for anyone who's reading this, but I'm not going to be writing this story anymore. Well, at least not here. I'm rewriting this under a different name. I figured that I should tell you, in case you still want to read it.

I won't really change anything other than the note, which I totally need to fix, so… yeah. That's just about all I have to warn you about. I'll probably call it something like "Things Have Changed".

…

…

I don't regret that title.

Anyway, I don't own Naruto or any of Kishimoto's characters.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

Why does this always happen?

I'm alone again. The moment I start to feel anything that even slightly resembles happiness, it's ripped away from me. When I started to feel like I could actually achieve something with my life, my brother killed everyone I knew and left me to wonder why. He had respect, power, and admiration, yet he destroyed all of that for himself and me.

This time, I thought it would be different. Naruto was the exact opposite of Itachi, and I thought that, maybe, after the hell life's put me through, it would make things fair and give me this one bond.

Kakashi found him and brought him to the hospital, where they managed to stop the bleeding, but I know that things won't ever be the same again. He won't smile anymore, or challenge me during training. I won't even have a friend anymore.

(Naruto POV)

The fist thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was the rhythmic noise that told me I was still alive. The second thing I noticed was the figure at my bedside, asleep. THis was the last person I wanted to see right now. Maybe I could run away…

When I tried to get out of the bed, the figure stirred and their eyes shot open.

"Oh…. Hey."

She blinked, almost unbelievingly.

"Really? That's all you can say for yourself? You're so lucky that we're in a hospital right now, or I would beat you to a bloody pulp." Sakura muttered.

"So you're…. mad? You know about everything that happened, and you're mad."

Her eyes softened, but she still didn't let up.

"What did you expect? After you… got hurt, you can hardly expect me to be the happy!"

So this is how things are. She's just going to conveniently avoid discussing what I did.

"I didn't expect you to be happy, I just didn't really think that it would affect you."

Sakura seemed insulted by that, for some reason, and she wouldn't stop glaring at me. "You really think that I don't care what happens?"

"Yeah, that was pretty much the vibe you were giving me my entire life."

That actually shut her up, giving me time to think about all of this. I don't regret saying any of this to her. If people insist on going against my wishes, I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. I suppose she's the one person I should actually be nice to, though.

Sakura is the girl I'm supposed to have this major crush on. I mean, I guess I used to, but… things have changed. Since we were placed on the same team, I saw that she treats me differently, too, and she doesn't even know why. She hates me for no reason, other than to fit in with everyone else. I'm can't bring myself to hate her, but I won't chase after her like a love sick puppy, either.

"So, if you're done here, you should probably go."

She didn't move. "You've changed things, you know." Sakura whispered, playing with her hair. "No one's seen Hinata since it happened. From what we can tell, she blames all of us. Sasuke won't talk to anyone, and Kakashi has to force him to stop training, sometimes. The rest of the rookies barely believe that you would actually do something like this."

As important as this information would've been two weeks ago, it didn't really matter now. Hinata can blame whoever she wants, but it was my devision, and I know she'll come to se that, even if I don't want her to. Sasuke is probably just upset that one of his teammates will be out of commission. They won't be able to take many good missions without a full team. As for everyone else, they'll get used to it.

"Lovely. Thank you for the update, now, please, leave."

It seemed like leaving was the last thing she wanted to do, but she still got up and walked to the door, avoiding eye contact with me to the best of her ability.

As soon as she was gone, I went back to bed.

(Sakura POV)

I can't believe this. I expected him to be…. I don't know, different. He's just not himself. I guess that should be expected, though. After what happened, I can't exactly expect him to act like everything's the same.

I know that he needs support right now, but I don't think that I can give it to him. After the way I treated him before, it wouldn't be a surprise if he never wanted to see me again. When I look back at the way I treated him before, I think it was unfair. I also know that I would never have taken the time to think about that if it hadn't been for his attempt, and that really tells me that things haven't been right. My new goal is to become a friend to him, and try to make up for everything I did. I just hope that he's willing to give me another chance…

* * *

Author's note: Okay, so that's done. I managed to get it up to a thousand words, too. I'm proud of myself.

…

…

…

I shouldn't be. This is a suicide fic. Doing a good job isn't a good thing. Anyway, song of the day: "All The Pretty Girls" by Fun.

Show of the day: "Pandora Hearts" It's an amazing anime. Watch it.


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